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Foodie Tips: Cheese is our friend

Quick and easy recipes are high in demand these days, with that in mind, this series of recipes are designed to fit into your life just like your ass once fit into your favorite jeans.

First up on the menu: Melted cheese without the fuss of carbs.

Necessary items: knife, yellow cheese, paper plate. **yellow colored cheese can be substituted with white colored cheese**

Cut the cheese. Seriously, cut the cheese.

Place it on a paper plate. Slide it into the microwave.

Set timer depending on how much cheese you cut. Size does matter.

Once it’s melted, you can eat the cheese immediately, while it’s burbling hot.

If you are having guests over, spruce up the meal by scraping the cheese onto a fancy plate. Adding a garnish will impress your friends and relatives so feel free to do so.

TADAM:

Bon Appétit!

If you like this recipe, check out -> How To Cook Corn, Chick Style

Cheery EMO Graphics

Comes in White with Black lettering :

In Black with White lettering:

And in Red with extremely large typeface:

If you need to pep up, CLICK to Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness

72 Rolls of Toilet Paper

A women at the grocery store bought six 12 pack rolls of toilet paper.

I’ve never had that much toilet paper all at once.

I wonder what life would be like with 72 rolls of toilet paper, all at once.

I think I’d eat more fiber. I’d feel safe eating more fiber.

As I look at my single roll of toilet paper I can’t help but fantasize about a 72 roll lifestyle.

I could easily go out and buy six 12 pack rolls and quickly immerse myself in the experience, instead of waiting for fate to make it happen.

But I can’t handle the pressure right now.

Adventures with Swimmer Boy

Check out the Conversation with Cartoon Boy: Don’t Sniff the Fro

Troll Patrol: Spotlights Youtube Celeb sxephil

This week’s troll alert goes out in defense of YouTube celebrity, sxephil. He began his viral video rise to fame in 2006 and currently has over a million subscribers.

This kind of success - regardless of whether this guy is an annoying, rambling punk - really riles the haters. Just as the trolls are obsessed with Justin Bieber’s anus and genitals they are equally mesmerized by sxephil’s dangly bits and nether regions. But in this case the trolls are out for bloody violence. Here’s a sampling of feedback from his comment section:

Oh yeah, sure, I think we’d all get in a good LOL if someone was set ablaze while midgets applied magical sausage fingers to molest their crispy corpse. Good call, TheScottG45. At least some folks, albeit not in a positive way, notice sxephil’s goal to amuse.

However, there are plenty of people who actually value sxephil’s contribution to pop culture:

One day perhaps the midgets will abduct these trolls and throw ‘em in the meat grinder for a fresh batch of Soylent Green. By the way, Soylent Green is people!

Facebook Condones Child Butt Rubbing?

I’m often surprised by the Ads on Facebook, but this one takes the cake.

This thing above is For the Kiddos? A t-shirt about Butt Rubbing?

This little PINK THING has “soap” written on it, but since Soap doesn’t talk I’m highly suspicious of it actually being soap. Anybody can hide inside of a soap suit! Maybe even a predator. Frankly isn’t that the first place a predator would hide? So perhaps when the Supposed Soap Man asks your children to RUB HIM on their butts, it’s not such a good thing to do.

And because I have no idea if a potentially hulking, heavy breathing pervert is masquerading around in that little pink soap suit I wasn’t sure whether to mark this advertisement as  “offensive” or as “misleading.” So I opted for “other.”

And then I hit the Okay button, even though I know, and we all know, none of this is OKAY!